Here's What I Know...
In all my years of healing and shadow work, my varied training in modalities that span the globe, and my own personal growth, here’s what I know…
The human experience is full of twists and turns, challenges and changes, and just when you think you are on the “right track” (because the Universe lead you there by your nose) sometimes your life blows up!
Oh yes, it happens to all of us, me included.
2022 was a full blown, heart thumping, cat 5 water rapid ride of transformation and life explosions for me. A lot of it was deeper understanding and magical expansion. But some of it was dream crushing devastating.
I’m sure you get exactly what I mean because it was a year of transformation for the planet at large, you included.
So, what do you do when your perfect dream/project/relationship/etc. blows up?
Here are three things that help me thrive: allow the emotions to flow, turn to your practices, and embody grace for yourself as much as possible.
First, for too long we’ve been told to temper our emotions and that certain emotions are “acceptable” and others are not. I’m calling B*llsh*t!
Emotions are an essential and vital aspect of being human. And denying parts of ourselves only creates negative stories, limiting beliefs, and a whole heap of stored trauma. No one needs more of that.
So let those emotions flow… ALL of them! If it isn’t safe to express yourself to the one that needs to hear it, find other ways that allow you to experience those emotions. Physically expend the emotional energy with exercise or dancing, turn to mental pursuits such as journaling or free writing, watch a sad movie and have a good cry, or you can even sink down in the tub and scream. Whatever you do, don’t bottle up or push your feelings aside, express them.
Second, if you don’t have any regular practices such as meditation, journey work, yoga, mindfulness, breath work, prayer (aka things that keep you sane), start today!
When everything is going sideways, when you don’t want to get dressed much less get out of bed, and especially when you are mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted… go to your practices.
They probably won’t fix anything specifically, but they will help ground and center you, calm your nervous system, and allow for a little more clarity in the midst of chaos.
Lastly, give yourself a break! Grace, self-acceptance, and self-love are things we don’t easily give to ourselves.
Why is that?
It is a ridiculous notion that we should freely give to others something we don’t know how to give to ourselves! Practice self-compassion with fierceness.
Like I said at the beginning, life is a roller coaster of ups and downs, it’s actually supposed to be that way so that we can learn and grow and evolve. So be kind and gentle and loving with yourself because this sh*t can be hard!
The biggest truth bomb is that even the dream crushing devastation leads to something better than our limited expectations could fathom. When we clear our eyes of the illusion of victimhood and get out of our own way, the lessons can be pure gold.
So, when the dips come…
when you are clawing your way through the day…
when you feel you can’t possibly handle any more…
give yourself permission to be human, to have a deepeningly human experience.
Sit with it, feel it, be gentle and nourishing to yourself, and embody grace with more passion than you gave the dip.
We aren’t meant to be perfect, we aren’t meant to have all the answers, and we aren’t meant to grin and bear it. We are meant to explore, discover, try, learn and repeat (over and over and over again).
In the end it’s the dips and challenges that make us better human beings.
P.S. We also aren’t meant to be on this crazy ride alone. If you are looking for support, guidance, and empowerment, let’s talk.
